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Staying on Your Side of the Street

Healthy relationships thrive when we set emotional boundaries, practice self-awareness, and take personal responsibility for our feelings. This approach, often called staying on your side of the street, is a powerful way to improve communication skills, reduce conflict, and foster deeper connection. Inspired by Brené Brown’s boundary work and Nonviolent Communication principles, this method helps you manage your own emotions while respecting others.

Building Emotional Boundaries and Self-Awareness in Relationships

In relationships, staying on your side of the street means taking personal responsibility for your own thoughts, feelings, and behaviours without trying to fix, blame, or control others. It’s a core principle of emotional boundaries and emotional maturity in relationships. By focusing on your own growth, you avoid slipping into the trap of managing someone else’s emotions or telling them how they should feel.

When we cross into someone else’s side of the street, we often offer unsolicited advice, make assumptions, or try to “solve” their problems. While well-intentioned, this can undermine trust, create disconnection, and block healthy communication. Instead, practice owning your feelings saying “I feel hurt” rather than “You hurt me.” This small shift supports conflict resolution and keeps conversations grounded in respect and empathy.

This approach is deeply connected to boundary-setting and self-awareness in relationships. Brené Brown reminds us that “clear is kind,” and that healthy boundaries are an essential act of compassion (Brown, 2018). Similarly, Nonviolent Communication (Rosenberg, 2003) teaches us to speak from our own experience, using honesty and empathy to build connection rather than conflict.

Next time you feel triggered, pause and ask yourself: What’s going on in me? That moment of reflection creates space for managing your own emotions and responding with intention. Over time, this practice not only strengthens your relationships but also deepens your own capacity for compassion, healthy communication skills, and emotional resilience.

References:

  • Brown, B. (2018). Dare to Lead. Random House.
  • Rosenberg, M. B. (2003). Nonviolent Communication: A Language of Life. PuddleDancer Press.
  • Cloud, H., & Townsend, J. (1992). Boundaries. Zondervan.

Support is available at Open Hand Counselling for those wanting to build healthier relationship habits

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